Girl Friend Zindabad
Today started with a crappy morning. I decided to catch connecting buses instead of a direct one. The 1st one was 20 min late => missed the 2nd one & barely got to college in time for the class. + today I had that 2.5 hr class & just 1 hr break between that & the 1st class. So by 3 when I was done with classes & pretty tired, nothing in my schedule had been ticked off. The lethargy won & I stayed back @ office chatting (badly needed a break) & watching "democracy now". On my way back, I decided to call a friend - a mom, a lady who has gone thru many difficult things in life, some similar to mine, someone I could really connect with. We talked almost randomly for 20+ min. & what a refreshing effect it had on me. That tired me came back & cleaned up a very very messy kitchen & a somewhat untidy room.
This is not the 1st time. It's amazing how much talking to a "girl" friend helps. & I know that @ those times talking to a guy wouldn't have. Not sure why, but somehow "girl" friends help in a way that men can't. At least most men can't. May be its because any time men hear about a problem they try to solve it. Whereas the person, say me or a woman like me, might just want a listener, some empathy & the freedom (i.e. no advice) to solve the problem herself. Often when men try to solve it they stop empathizing & that's when a woman feels she not being listened to. Or what she is trying to say is not reaching the other. Or that the other person is trying to be superior.
I feel women nowadays need empathy & companionship more than anything. & we want to solve our problems ourself. If men can't provide what we need - sorry dude, you are not what we are looking for!
This is not the 1st time. It's amazing how much talking to a "girl" friend helps. & I know that @ those times talking to a guy wouldn't have. Not sure why, but somehow "girl" friends help in a way that men can't. At least most men can't. May be its because any time men hear about a problem they try to solve it. Whereas the person, say me or a woman like me, might just want a listener, some empathy & the freedom (i.e. no advice) to solve the problem herself. Often when men try to solve it they stop empathizing & that's when a woman feels she not being listened to. Or what she is trying to say is not reaching the other. Or that the other person is trying to be superior.
I feel women nowadays need empathy & companionship more than anything. & we want to solve our problems ourself. If men can't provide what we need - sorry dude, you are not what we are looking for!
posted by Swati @ 8:53 PM
4 Comments:
At 1/03/2006 06:35:00 AM,
Aditya said…
showed up here (and ur homepage) from ravi's blog ...
fact that you were at ISI and UW brought back some memories ... my bro did his phd at UW, and had a roomie who in the math dept who was also from ISI ... and also closely affiliated with the seattle asha chapter ...
At 1/27/2006 11:46:00 AM,
Swati said…
hm. that's too close. most likely i know this guy. when did this guy (the ISI one) graduate from UW?
At 10/02/2006 07:50:00 AM,
der Bergwind said…
hmmm.. does friendship have a gender? dunno.. its like we, the people arnd are all trying too fast to grab in the flashes of life n so the tag of frndz have become rather easy to get.. flaunt! n sumtimes they all soon realise lo! they are in luv :) n then frndship is wasted in the winds n a harakiri happens- most of the times!!
ya girls do have the ability to understand the nuances better but then they can also handle the emotions strong, i feel :)
but overall its just a good pal thatz there wenever whr ever... n aint no boy gal issue..
At 12/21/2006 02:34:00 PM,
Swati said…
no, according to me friendship doesn't have a gender. but over & over i have seen that women can empathize in a way that few men can. at least now a days i don't even dare to approach a male-friend with a empathy need. they tend to shy away from that. also there seems to be a quota of how much such requests i can make before souring the relationship.
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